Write to Remember

again. again. and again. Time and circumstances Chapter after chapter only play my soul in unwanted games. again again. and again  Paralysed. and now  there's no one to help. not even myself.

I guess I'm not brave enough with life. Lately, I'm kind of afraid with how fast the time goes by. I feel like I was just turn 18 and graduated high school yesterday, but now I'm almost 25 and currently pursue my master course.  It feels weird how some people are still stay connected with me and some are grew apart. The current new people that I've met in the past one year are mostly caring and heartwarming. Thinking of how life someday will separate us quite terrifies me. I understand that life goes on anyway, whether for me or for them. I don't know if after this chapter, I'll be good as I am now or not. But, of course, I don't wanna stuck in the past or just in a particular moment. Been there done that. The difficulties of not letting go will make a heavy burden to myself.  It's just too fast. And it's not good to holding on with a tight grip. Should I stop my fear and substitute it with hope? Ensuring myself that for the upcoming chapters...

I'm tired.

Memulai lead postingan blog dengan "Waktu cepat banget berlalu..." sebenarnya terasa basi. Tapi, beneran deh, waktu cepat banget berlalu. Sekarang aja saat gue melanjutkan draft postingan ini udah bulan Februari 2020. Mau gue selesaiin dari Januari tapi nggak jadi-jadi, haha. So, how am I doing now? Overall, nice. So far, so good.  I will put some writings after this one post. Let's just continue about my recap about what happened in the past six months of 2019 first. Postingan terakhir saat awal banget gue sampai Melbourne kan ya.  - Kehidupan kuliah Insecure adalah sebuah kata yang tepat di semester pertama. Insecure banget deh gue, hahaha. Bukan berarti gue nggak bisa ngikutin mata kuliahnya, tapi gue merasa sering insecure apa tugas-tugas yang gue kerjain udah benar atau belum. Baik itu tugas individu atau tugas kelompok. Kadang ada rasanya tugas yang dari bagian Business School pengen gue selesaiin cepet-cepet aja 😂 Ada juga sih tugas paper gitu...