Write to Remember

I am the one who's responsible of: my own health my own happiness my own sanity.

"It is where you were supposed to be..." Foto di atas adalah salah satu halaman dari buku "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" karangan Mitch Albom.  Kadang (atau sering ya?) merasa nggak paham sebenarnya apa yang saya lakukan itu berdampak baik nggak sih untuk orang lain. Apakah yang saya lakukan berarti? Kadang pun merasa "Ah saya nggak ngapa-ngapain."  Tapi, sebenarnya nggak seperti itu.  Apa pun, sekecil apa pun yang kita lakukan pasti ada pengaruhnya. Kayak dari buku ini, tokoh utamanya, Eddie yang seorang teknisi di sebuah taman bermain merasa seumur hidupnya dia di tempat yang sama dan nggak melakukan hal yang berarti.  Padahal pekerjaan dia yang berkaitan dengan keamanan di taman bermain ternyata sudah menyelamatkan banyak anak yang datang ke sana. Saya sempat merasa nggak berarti, seperti yang tokoh Eddie rasakan. Padahal sebenarnya nggak, toh. Rasanya, sama seperti perjalanan hidup yang sedang saya alami sekarang. Potongan-potong...

Write down your life's motto....  I used to found this sentence during a school orientation program or on a job application form. And I would be very confused about the answer. I never really have a motto for my life. But, I think I've figured out my motto after more than twenty years alive. As a person, I like challenges and would try some things that I've never been involved before. The result somehow leads me to amazing moment, great experiences, and I could possibly meet interesting people. So, i think, my first life's motto is "Never Stop Trying". What, there are second and third mottos?  Well, yes. I just found it recently.  Number 2, "Conquer Your Fear" Number 3, "Make Every Second Counts" The past two years has been weird and I learned a lot of things. And in the late 2018's, I thought about things that I wouldn't do for a while or I won't do because I'm scared, or I might get disappointed. ...

I’m uncertain whether I grew up better or bitter hopeful or hopeless - are you running out of time?

Deep deep deep down, i know the reason what makes me like this.   I know the cause, i know how it affects me. What i’ve held for years for something as a faith, shattered. Things happened not the way i expect to be and against what i believe is right. That was the starter when everything crumbles and makes me confused.  I’ve done a lot of questioning since then. Why it happened like that? It doesn’t suppose to be like that. My idealism was screaming. I was angry. But then, lately, i understand all the right things only belong to God. And people have never been free from their mistakes and their weaknesses.  “I’m only human, you’re only human.” But let’s not make it as a justification every time when we did something wrong. If you repeat your mistakes without feeling any guilt, it’s already a choice then, not an accidental mistake. So, acceptance makes me realized that i can stay hold on into what i believe is right, but another person can not always...

I just finished reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven. And I'm currently reading Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind. The next book that I would like to read, are: - Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig. - Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow by Yuval Noah Harari - Everything's F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson - Filsafat Agama by Buya Hamka - Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr. I don't know why lately I only want to read, read, read, read, talk with people, read, eat tasty food, read, read, read, singing, read, drawing, read, read, read, read, read..... Nb: Jadi ingin cepat-cepat punya Kindle.

It is the best representative word to describe what I'm dealing right know I surrender to a particular thing inside me It's not a weakness and it's not a flaw It's an illness that can be cured As an adult, being responsible to your own health is necessary And this thing is the first part to completely prove that I can take care of it Well, there was a time when horrible stuffs happened with my hair and i can fix it But, what's happening now is much bigger than that issue Change is hard and not so nice So does surrender I was a person who doesn't like to surrender "I can do it." However, not for this time Surrender is the first step to becoming better There are two biggest causes that make the suffocating feeling dechiper The first one is already in a progress, facing forward The second one, appeared today, and I just knew it It still haunted me and it could suddenly appear by some triggers Surrender I have ...